Case File 84: Who Stole the Cookies
by leatharegee
Summary: Who Stole the Cookies from the Cookie Jar? Mother Goose's cookies have been stolen! Was it Jack, Jill, Mary Mack, Bo Peep, Peter Piper, or Georige Porgie?


Hear Ye! Hear Ye! 

            Yes! This _is_ another piece of my English homework! Its based on the who stole the cookies from the cookie jar song we all remember singing as kids! I'm only 15....but it seems so long ago! lol. I hope you like it and don't forget to REVIEW!!!!!

Ljstagflower4e (formerly known as Jctigerwolf4e) 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* Case File: #84 

**Who Stole the Cookies From the Cookie Jar?**

          It was a dark and stormy night.

No. Not really. I've always wanted to say that, though. It was a cloudless sky, the full moon clearly visible above the treetops when I walked into my office on Saturday, June 14, 2003 around 8 o'clock p.m. I hung up my coat and my Sherlock Holmes detective hat on the peg next to the door and sat down on my purple and green desk chair in front of my computer. I moved the pile of laundry off my keyboard and opened up my typing program. I paused for a moment when my cat, Watson, leapt onto my desk and lay down, looking at me expectantly. Watson is my confident and the main source of ideas for how to solve many of the mysteries that I've encountered. 

Well, now you're probably wondering: _What's so important about a detective with a messy office, a florescent desk chair, and a mystery-solving cat, especially one that she **talks** to? Shouldn't she be locked up in the loony bin?_

 Well, I guess I'll tell you a bit about myself first...My first name is of no concern to you (I love how secretive that sounds) but my last name is Mistoree...and I want to be a real detective when I'm older. Right now I'm only 15...which explains the pile of laundry and the purple and green desk chair. Watson was a birthday present, two years ago, from my parents and he's one of the smartest cats you'll never meet (as he never leaves my house - so unless you visit me, you'll never meet him). My office is really just my bedroom, but the term office seems so much more professional. I have a bed, a desk, a closet and 3 bookshelves full of mysteries and super sleuth books, along with the Little House on the Prairie Books (a guilty pleasure of mine). Anyways, back to the point...right now, to satisfy my need to sleuth I solve neighborhood mysteries, such as _Case #13: Where's Waldo _(on the playground) and _Case #46: Where in the World is Carmen Santiago? _(I discovered this to be a scam; Carmen was at home the whole time, a couch potato if I ever saw one). 

I clicked the mouse a few times, opening up my email program to see if anyone had sent me a new mystery to solve. I had exactly one new message. 

I clicked it open and began to read.

**TO: Super_sleuth03@yahoo.com**

**FROM: Mother_Goose@hotmail.com**

**RE:  Stolen Cookies**

**Message: **

**Dear Detective Mistoree,**

**            I'm in a silly situation! I had just jammed a jumble of cookies into a jar when I decided to take a short nap and when I arose; they had vanished from right under my nose! Please help me trap the thief and retrieve my tasty treats.**

**In distressing distress,**

                 Mother Goose  

I clicked reply and began to type.

**TO:  Mother_Goose@hotmail.com**

**FROM: Super_sleuth03@yahoo.com**

**RE: Stolen Cookies**

**Message:**

**Dean Mother Goose,**

**            I'm very sorry to hear of the unfortunate occurrence. Of course I can help you. I will be over at your house to investigate the crime scene tomorrow around Noon. **

**Signed,**

**Detective Mistoree**

I hit send and looked over at Watson.

"Well, Watson," I said, "Looks like we have another mystery to solve." Watson meowed in response and twitched his tail eagerly.

          The next day at noon I found myself standing outside a rather large wood cabin. I looked at the address in my pocket again. 1655 Curds Whey. I walked up the pathway weaving in between the mass amounts of children (all presumably under the age of 6) running around the lawn, and knocked on the door. An elderly looking woman opened the door a few minutes later.

"Detective Mistoree?" She asked. I nodded and she ushered me inside, closing the door behind her. 

We sat down at a small table in her kitchen. I glanced around quickly, a stove, refrigerator, oven, microwave, toaster, and a window for ventilation. It looked like a homey little kitchen from children's fairy tales and such. I focused my attention back on Mother Goose.

          "Now, Mrs. Goose," I started, "you say someone stole your cookies?"

          "Yes, dear, I put them in my cookie jar for when the children come to visit later this week, and when I woke up from my nap.... they were GONE!"

          I thought for a moment, and then spoke, "Who was on your property yesterday?" Now it was her turn to think.

 "Well," she said, "Mary Mack and Bo Peep came by around noon to feed the gaggle of geese, Georgie Porgie stopped in briefly to fix the leak under the sink, then around 5 in the afternoon Peter Piper and Jack 'n Jane...no, Jack 'n Jill came by to show me their new safety gear" she said slowly, "Then they helped me finish my humpty dumpty puzzle" I pulled out my pad of paper and a pen and wrote down their names.

 "Okay, Mrs. Goose," I said, standing up, "That's all the information that I need right now. I'll come by again tomorrow to interview these six suspects." I walked slowly down the path, carefully observing my surroundings, looking for any possible clues. Out of the corner of my eye I saw a small piece of paper sticking out of the dirt under the hedge by the kitchen window I had been looking out of earlier. I scrambled through sharp branches and crouched under the window ledge, digging the neatly folded paper out of the dirt. It was still clean white, not yet yellowed, showing its recent arrival to the spot. I unfolded it carefully and read the quickly scribbled message. 

G-

P&P if u do this rite.

-M

I frowned at the note. It was screaming CLUE! CLUE! CLUE! But I just couldn't figure it out. Who was G and who was M? What was P&P? Peanut Butter and Jelly? No... that's  PB&J...Pickled Peppers? Hmmmmmm....could be. I copied the note down in my notebook and refolded the note, sticking it back into the soft soil. I crawled back through the shrubbery and hurried home to begin my research.

          Upon arriving home I pulled out the list of suspects and opened up a search engine on my computer (after greeting dear Watson, of course). I typed in Mack, Mary and clicked search.

Just one link came up. I clicked on it and waited.

Finally Mary Mack's past criminal record opened on the page in front of me. I scrolled down, my eyes scanning the information for anything important.

The information was significant; "She likes snack foods, so maybe she stole the cookies." Watson meowed angrily to this statement, reminding me to look at the other suspects as well.

I searched for Peep, Bo next.

Two links came up; the first one was a poster offering a reward for the return of 5 lost sheep, and the second one had Bo Peep's record. I was pleased (well, maybe not pleased, but it was important information) to find that she had been involved in illegal business in the past; maybe she was at it again. 

I searched for Georgie Porgie, Peter Piper, and Jack 'n Jill next, pulling up their files.

Suspicious, I thought. Georgie Porgie likes food. But I dismissed the thought when I saw he was part of the law enforcement system - true it was the school law enforcement (hall monitor), but it was law enforcement all the same. 

Peter Piper...he seemed more like a class clown character than a thief, but I didn't write him off my list just yet. Sometimes those who seem least suspicious are the same people who commit the crime.

I found that Jack and Jill were fraternal twins both with run-ins with the law and a love for chocolate. So far, they were at the top of my suspects list. I yawned widely and rubbed my eyes. It was late and I had a long day tomorrow. I bid goodnight to Watson and drifted off into dreams of jumbles of cookies and gaggles of geese.

The next day I showed up at Mrs. Goose's house with my manila folder, carefully marked _CONFIDENTIAL_. I had printed out the records I had looked up last night and I was ready to add my own notes to them.

I found my group of suspects in the kitchen, squabbling loudly. They didn't notice me when I walked in so I took the time to observe them; Jack and Jill were arguing over whose fault it was that they were being suspected of theft, while Bo Peep and Miss Mary were debating, rather loudly at that, whether elephants were better pets than sheep. Peter Piper was perched on the kitchen counter looking amused at the scene before him and Georgie Porgie looked like he was about to wet himself in fear of being hit with one of the soup ladles that Jack and Jill were throwing at each other. I cleared my throat loudly and stepped further into the room. 

"Please, everyone, Quiet down" I said. Nothing. I tried again.

"QUIET DOWN NOW!" everyone stopped and looked at me - I didn't even know my voice could hit that decibel. Jack and Jill dropped the soup ladles, Peter Piper slid quietly into his chair, Bo and Mary stopped mid sentence, and Georgie Porgie _did_ wet himself. After Georgie Porgie...erm...cleaned himself up a bit, we were ready to begin the questioning.

"Alright," I started, "Who stole the cookies from the cookie jar?"

"Jack stole the cookies from the cookie jar!" Jill replied with a smirk towards her brother. I quickly pulled out Jack's file.

Name: Jack 

Age: 15

Gender: Male 

Hair Color: Red

Eye Color: Green

Height: 5'5"

Weight: 130

Birthday: June 15, 1988

Favorite Food: Chocolate

Closest Friend: Jill, his twin sister

Education: High School, 10th Grade

Past Records:

 *Sued neighbor, Mother Goose, for $400,000 when he broke his crown climbing up her hill to get water, lost the case and was fined $400 dollars for trespassing in the first place.

"Who me?!" Asked Jack.

"Yes you." Retorted Jill.

"Couldn't be!" Jack proclaimed confidently.

"And why not, Jack?" I queried, pen poised over paper ready to write.

"I was somewhere else that night." He replied.

"Where were you?"

"I was," here Jack's face reddened considerably, "WithLittleMissMuffet"

Jill sniggered loudly. "_Jack's got a girlfriend! Jack's got a girrrrrrrrrlfriend!_" she sang, drawing out the last word. Jack glared at his sister but turned back to me anyways. I called Miss Muffet to confirm Jack's alibi. He was telling the truth - which unfortunately led to several more rounds of the Jack's Got A Girlfriend song, courtesy of Jill.

Alibi: With Little Miss Muffet, I added to Jack's record. 

I turned back to the group, "Okay, if it wasn't Jack...then who DIDsteal the cookies from the cookie jar?"

          This time Mary declared, "Bo Peep stole the cookies from the cookie jar!"

I pulled out Bo Peeps' file and prepared to take notes.

Name: Bo "Little Bo" Peep

Age: 15

Gender: Female

Hair Color: Black

Eye Color: Grey

Height: 5'3"

Weight: 122

Birthday: May 5, 1988

Favorite Food: Chicken Noodle Soup

Closest Friend: Mary and her little lamb

Education: High School, 10th grade

Past Records:

 *Fined $500 for violating City Sheep Leash Laws in 1998

          "Who ME?!" Bo asked, incredulously.

          "Yes you" Said Jack, pleased to have the attention on something other than his love life.

          "Couldn't be!" Bo responded, shaking her head vigorously. 

          "Let's hear your alibi, Bo" I said.

          "I was with my sheep," She said, "We went to the park."

          "Do you have a witness?"

          "I stopped to say hi to Mary and her Little Lamb." She offered.

I got the phone book out from under the kitchen sink and looked up Mary, seeing as she has no known last name. Mary Contrary...Mary Mack...finally I got to Mary (little lamb). I dialed the number and waited.

          "Hello?" asked the voice on the other end of the line.

          "Mary?" I asked.

          "This is she."

          "This is Detective Mistoree, I'm investigating a crime scene here, and I was wondering if you could tell me if you saw Miss Bo Peep at all yesterday."

          "Oh, surely!" Mary giggled, "I saw her in the park with her sheep!"

          "Thanks." I said. 

Mary giggled again, "No Problem, Detective! Bye now!"

"Bo Peep's alibi is strong." I said marking it down on my sheet.

I turned back to the group.

          "It's not Jack and it's not Bo Peep. So WHO stole the cookies from the cookie jar?"

          "Mary stole the cookies from the cookie jar" Georgie broke in eagerly.

          "Who me?!" Asked Mary.

          "Yes you!" replied Jack and Bo Peep.

          "Couldn't be!"

I pulled Mary's file from the stack.

Name: Mary "Miss Mary" Mack

Age: 15

Gender: Female

Hair Color: Blonde

Eye Color: Blue

Height: 5'2"

Weight: 110

Birthday: February 23, 1988

Favorite Food: Snack foods

Education: High School, 10th grade

Other: Always wears a black dress with silver buttons down her back

Past Records: 

 *Official Warning for going to the illegal elephant jump of Jan '03.

          "Why not, Miss Mack?"

          "I was waiting." She said simply.

          "For?" I prodded.

          "The elephants," She paused and then explained, "I saw them at the elephant jump in January, that's when I got my official warning, and they haven't landed yet. I was waiting by the fences yesterday when the cookies were stolen."

          "I see." I said thoughtfully.

          She pulled a program out of her pocket and showed it to me. It was dated September 13, 2003 and advertised the assembly of people waiting for the elephants to land.

          I added her alibi to the bottom of her record and moved on.

          "Who stole the cookies from the cookie jar?!"

          "Jill stole the cookies from the cookie jar!" yelled Bo.

          "Did not!" said Jill.

          "Did too!"

          "Did not!"

          "DID --" I chose this point to interrupt the very intriguing exchange of words.

          "Hey! That's not the way it's supposed to go! Jill, you're supposed to say 'Who Me?' and then everyone else says "Yes You!" and the you deny it and give us your alibi!"

          "Oh," Said Jill, "Who ME!?"

          "Yes you!" chorused the group.

          "Couldn't be!" Jill stated, proud of herself for getting it right.

          "Alibi please?"  I pulled out Jill's information.

Name: Jill 

Age: 15

Gender: Female 

Hair Color: Red

Eye Color: Green

Height: 5'5"

Weight: 115

Birthday: June 15, 1988

Favorite Food: Carmel Chocolate, cookies

Closest Friend: Jack, her twin brother

Education: High School, 10th grade

Other: After her tumble down the hill, she took up gymnastics as a sport.

Past Records:

 *Also fined $400 for trespassing on Mother Hubbard's land with her brother Jack.

          "I was...um...at my tumbling class. Yeah! My tumbling class." She nodded vigorously to emphasize her point.

          "Really?" I asked skeptically.

          "Yes!" She insisted, "We worked on how to land safely while tumbling."

          "Jack?" I asked, "Was Jill at gymnastics yesterday?" 

          "Yeah," Jack said, "She was."

          I added Jill's alibi under her information, but put a star next to it, just in case.

Okay. I was confused. It wasn't Jack. It wasn't Bo. It wasn't Mary. And it might be Jill. I still had two more people to question.

          "Alright, we'll skip the routine and go straight for the alibi." I turned to Peter.

          "Peter Piper, where were YOU on June 14, 2003 at approximately 5 o'clock p.m.?"  
          "I was pickling more peppers with my girlfriend," He informed me, producing a bag of fresh pickled peppers from his pocket, "Want one?"

          "No thanks," I said, declining the foul smelling food.

I pulled out Peter's sheet.

Name: Peter Piper

Age: 15

Gender: Male 

Hair Color: Brown 

Eye Color: Blue

Height: 6'

Weight: 145

Birthday: April 10, 1988

Favorite Food: Pickled Peppers

Education: High School, 10th Grade

Other:

 *Winner of the Tongue Twister contest of '00. Prize: $1,000

 *P&P reference on the note found outside MG's house.

Past Records: 

 *$25 Fine paid for a bundle of pickled peppers he accidentally left on the school bus - he was shocked to discover that most people don't appreciate the smell of warm pickled peppers in the morning - he apologized and removed the peppers. 

His only crime was leaving a foul smelling food on a bus. And he had evidence to prove his alibi. I quickly added his alibi to his record sheet and moved on to my last suspect. Georgie Porgie.

          "Georgie Porgie." I said.

          "Y-y-yes?" he squeaked.

          "Where were YOU on June 14, 2003 at approximately 5 o'clock p.m.?"

          "I-I-I-I was d-d-doing research for m-my cooking class" He stuttered.

          "What kind of research?"

          "F-food testing."

          "Food testing, eh?" I asked, suspicious, "What kind of food?"

          "Sh-sh-shrimp cocktails?" He said.

I checked his sheet quickly and suddenly realized who the thief was.

Name: Georgie Porgie

Age: 15

Gender: Male 

Hair Color: Blonde

Eye Color: Hazel

Height: 5'11"

Weight: 134

Birthday: January 14, 1988

Favorite Food: Only eats Pudding, Pie, and desserts

Closest Friend: Margie Wargie

Education: High School, 10th grade

Other: nervous, suave when it comes to girls, glutton.

Past Records:

 *Caught stealing Cake marked with a 'B', from the Baker's Man at the Pat-a-Cake Bakery

"Mr. Porgie," I said, "All the evidence is currently pointing to you."

"It is?" He gulped and glanced around his eyes darting to the doors and window.

"You've been known to steal food before, and looking over a certain _note_ that I found under the kitchen window...." I trailed off, letting him get used to the corner that he had worked himself into.

"B-b-b-but!" He protested.

"Yes?"

"It wasn't me!"

"Really?" I paused, "So this note that I found offering 'G' P&P from 'M'...isn't familiar to you?"

"B-b-b-but!" He stuttered again, "P&P could be Peter Piper...or Pickled Peppers...or...or...or--"

"--Very true, Mr. Porgie," I interrupted, "but it is addressed to 'G'...referring to you Georgie Porgie, offering P&P, your favorite foods, pudding and pie, and its signed from 'M'...possibly Margie Wargie...your closest friend and accomplice in this horrid crime."

"It was Margie Wargie!"

"Only Margie Wargie?" I asked, one eyebrow raised skeptically, "You weren't involved at all?"

"Oh, FINE!" He spat, "It WAS me! I stole the cookies from the cookie jar! But Margie Wargie promised me a lifetime supply of Pudding and Pie, and even Pudding Pie if I got her the cookies!"

"You do realize the consequences of your actions?"

"Yes" He said bitterly.

"I'm sure Mother Goose will understand, if you apologize to her." Jill said to him.

Georgie looked relieved, obviously thinking he would escape without a punishment. But, nice as I am, I don't let criminals go unpunished. Being in law enforecement himself, Georgie would understand. Especially after he put me in detention for searching through the trash cans during my lunch period. Stupid Hall Monitors have no respect for super sleuthers like myself. I took poor Georgie down to the station with Margie Wargie who confessed to bribing Georgie to steal the cookies. Georgie received a $700 fine and Margie Wargie was charged with 2 counts of bribery, one for the pudding and one for the pie, and was kept overnight in jail with Georgie as punishment for their actions. As for Mother Goose, she baked a new batch of cookies and bought a high security cookie jar complete with fingerprint scanner and combination lock. 

Me, I headed home to Watson, to tell him of my latest mystery. He meowed in all the right places and even applauded as best as a cat can. "Elementary, my Dear Watson," I said, leaning back in my chair and placing my feet on the desk, "Elementary." I pushed my Holmes's hat over my eyes and that's where my sister found me the next morning...but that's Case File #85. 

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Its OVVVVVVVVVVVVER! I hope you liked it...so PLEASE, Review, REVIEW, Review!

And....yes, I based Georgie Porgie off of what I think Peter Pettigrew would have been like as a student. A sniveling little rodent with a mind for crime. Stupid traitorous rat! Sorry - I really should go write MWPP fic. But instead im posting my English homework. Oh, the irony (I think J) hehe. I hope you liked!

Ljstagflower4e (formerly known as Jctigerwolf4e)


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